Better Than Leaving
by Moonlit917
Summary: Sakura is just going on with life. Of course, her days are long and her nights lonely, but she knows it's better than what he did. It's better than leaving.
1. Home

**Disclaimer: I own no characters. Seriously. If I did, there would be no point in writing FANfiction for me. Sooo yeah. This is just a little drabble about Sakura holding up. You should've gotten the point from the preview…**

With a sigh, I unlocked my apartment door and entered the empty place. I tossed my coat on the couch and rubbed my temples while practically staggering to the bathroom. Quicker than most people could, I undresses and turned the water on full blast. I rolled my shoulders and tossed my fuzzy towel on the counter. The hot beads of water rolled down my back and I let it relax me. My hair stuck to my face, but I pushed the soaked pinkness out of my eyes. For a long while, I let the pounding water massage my shoulders and upper back. When I was feeling a bit better, I turned off the water. Using the fuzzy blue towel I dried then changed into clothing fit for a good night's sleep. Thankfully, I had tomorrow and the next day off.

I was beginning to see how strong Tsunade was. Three and a half hours in surgery exhausted me and only made the fifty-odd-year-old lady want some water. She can seriously handle herself.

A knock at my door stopped me from going to my blissfully comfortable bed.

I inwardly groaned and changed directions, heading back towards the front of my house. With a yawn, I opened my door. Thankfully, it wasn't anyone on a much higher rank or too important that saw me in my pajamas.

"Heya, Sakura."

It was just Ino.

"Hello, Ino," I said, letting her in. She sat on the couch and put a plastic bag on the couch.

"How are you holding up?" Ino's voice was quiet, not loud and bossy as usual.

The look I gave my long-time friend/rival was that of a tired woman who'd given up. "I try, and it helps. But I'm pretty sure he's not coming home. And with Naruto gone…" I shook my head and sighed. "It's time to give up. This is what he wanted."

My memory drug up the last moments I had with him. He'd appeared behind me, thanked me, and knocked me out. That isn't really something that says 'I won't be gone forever,' in my opinion…

Back in the present, Ino slammed her fist down on my coffee table. Damn, that was my good one. And she just had to crack it…

"Who the hell are you to give up on him? We both wasted years of our lives and friendship on this dumb ass by who ran off to play _Avenger_ with an evil creep! And all you can do is _quit_?"

"Ino, its getting old. He's not coming home."

Now the blonde shook her head, standing with a pity-filled expression. "I brought you some onigiri. I figured working so much, you'd get a bit hungry. See you tomorrow, Forehead-girl."

My face softened at the use of her nickname. "Later, Ino-pig."

She left, closing the door behind her. Slowly, I unwrapped one of the rice balls and ate it. With a tired mind and heavy heart, I put the rest away and locked my door. Then I turned off all the lights. Now, I would try to sleep, though it wouldn't come easily.


	2. Hurt

Disclaimer: Still not the owner, never claimed to be.

Of course, I was right. About the sleep, I mean. It was very hard to get to the dreamland we all wait for. After about an hour of tossing, thinking, and turning, I fell into a light slumber.

My alarm clock woke me up around seven. I threw it against the wall with little effort. I refused to get up early on my day off.

I woke once more around nine thirty. That was much better. I finally felt a bit rested due to the much needed extra hours of sleep. I yawned and threw the blankets back, straggling towards the bathroom.

After splashing my face with water, I felt awake.

That day, I spent it resting and recollecting myself. It was much needed time off. I visited my still-shy friend Hyuga Hinata and the famously lazy Nara Shikamaru. Other than doing that and stopping by to see the man that I treated in surgery yesterday, I slept, took my meals alone, and ran errands that I couldn't but off any longer. Like going to the market so I survived on more than onigiri and instant ramen and filing a stack of paper that had grown around six inches tall. Even with the work, I enjoyed my day.

On my second day off, things weren't as quiet and relaxing.

Since I had moved into my own apartment away from my parents compound, my mother often fretted and wondered about me. She had even gone as far as sending money – as if I didn't make my own – and baskets filled with fruit and house-ly things.

I loved her, but I could take care of myself.

As if I hadn't already proved that…

My day began quietly, at least. Until lunch time, when I was coming back from delivering the finished paperwork to Shizune. I knew something was up as soon as I saw Shika, Ino, Hinata and my mother standing outside my apartment, awaiting my return. Cautiously, I approached them.

"Sakura!" Hello, dear," my mom greeted me. I hugged her and said hello to the rest, letting them into my apartment. Still weary, I brought out some tea and sat.

Pouring a cup for herself, Ino began o explain why they were here. At this, Shikamaru lit a cigarette and groaned. I ignored the smell; he wouldn't be here unless it was important.

"Look Pinkie,. We're here because no one in the village wants you acting the way you are. Everyone misses happy, smart, ready-to-fight-at-any-given-moment Sakura we love. You've even lost the cocky, overemotional part of yourself. Instead, you've gotten dull – like an old bookshelf. Remember that giant tortoise that boy brought to the academy years ago and how it hardly moved? That's how you've been acting.

"You've been acting lifeless, like you have no fire left inside you. It's horrible. And what you said – about him never coming home. Well guess what? I wouldn't either if the last person I bothered talking to gave up on me before everyone else." Before she could continue, my rage got the best of me.

I spent _hours _looking for him, _months _fretting, and I've even risked my life for the boy who decided he wanted revenge more than he wanted happiness. That boy would have _no_ right to complain." My voice had risen and once more I felt my rage-filled fire empower myself.

"And if he were here to complain, I'd really fucking slap him. Twice! Once for leaving, and again for complaining," I growled.

My mother looked at me with a mixture of pity and happiness. "That's the girl we've been missing, Sakura-chan."

Hinata nodded, and Ino cheered loudly. Of course, Shika just mumbled something about troublesome women. Sadly, though, they weren't finished.

"We didn't come here to make you believe that he's coming back, or even missing Kohana," Shika said. "I was drug here because they think that only I can tell you this. Because the troublesome women in this room believe I can calculate the chances of him returning, they wanted me to tell you." He took another long drag from his cigarette. He was reminding more of Asuma each day. "Sakura, the chances are low. But before you yell at us for confusing you, listen to Ino."

She looked at me with sad eyes, something she rarely ever did. "We don't want you to forget about him, we just want you to stop hurting yourself by remembering. Just push him aside, as he did to us." Ino said the last part quietly, not looking at me anymore.

A sad, deep feeling settled in my stomach. No, they didn't want me to forget. But they didn't want me to remember either… So I did one of the hardest things in my life.

Because, no matter how much remembering him _hurt_, there was no way I was going to stop.


	3. Honest

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto and its characters. Enjoy anyways.**

"Mother, Ino, Hinata. Even you, Shikamaru. Thank you all for caring." They smiled, thinking they had succeeded in their task. "Unfortunately, I cannot do as you ask. Even though missing him hurts and remembering doesn't help, I refuse to stop.

"I'm just living the best I can while dealing with this. I'm hanging on. Sure, it's not a choice way of living, bit its better than what he did. And its not as bad as it could be, knowing Sasuke.

I paused. "Now, if you would go, I have things to attend to."

My mother looked crestfallen, as did Ino. On a better note, Shika exited with a respectful nod. He reminded me more and more of Asuma each day.

Lastly, Hinata was left. She stared at the ground, a slight crimson tint of her cheeks. "I…kn-know how y-you f-f-feel, Sakur-ra. I-I'm glad yo-you're n…not giv-giving up on h-him." A tiny smile graced her tedious features while she awaited a reply from me.

Hinata's words surprised me. I didn't figure she would say that. Despite my shock, a tiny smile of my own rose upon my face. I was sure it was the first real smile in a long time. And I was very grateful to feel that kind of happiness even with all the pain and despair that lived within me lately. "Thank you Hinata-chan." I was grateful to the shy girl as well, for believing.

She nodded, the blush fading a bit, and left my apartment.

At least someone besides me had hope for the boy they loved. Even if Sasuke wanted to play Avenger and leave us all hanging, I'd still love him and hope for his safe return. Or any return at all for that matter. And even if Naruto was a blind baka, Hinata would still hope the same; as well as encourage and care for him. That was just how true love went, I figured.

After all, it was better than leaving.

**There it is; my first finished story on here. I hope you liked it.**


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